Her mother was dedicated to her children. She worked in a bank for many years and was a mentor. She threw lavish dinner parties and always kept a Kleenex stashed in her wristband just in case someone needed it.

Today she still keeps that Kleenex tucked away and she will still always offer someone a blanket in case they're chilly, but for close to 15 years, M.'s mom has been living with dementia. M., whose full name is not being used to protect her family's privacy said that dementia was never a topic of conversation that was broached with her mother.

"[It was] because her mom [my grandmother] had lived with dementia and because she was extremely fearful about it and didn't want to feel like a burden on her family; it was an off-limits conversation," she said. "She would have never wanted to hear those words, come out of anyone's mouth. Even growing up, she used to say, 'Promise me that, if this happens to me, you're just going to put me somewhere,' and you know you'd never do that to your mom."

However, the early signs of dementia in her mother did eventually become more and more noticeable.

"I remember being at a gathering at a birthday party for someone's 70th birthday and I had introduced my mum to someone, and we turned around and talked to someone else and we turned back around," M. said. "I remember her putting out her hand and saying we haven't met. That was a lightbulb for me."

Once her mother was diagnosed, M. said there were mixed feelings because on one hand there was a sense of relief about knowing the path forward, but on the other hand, there was a realization that things would be changing. M. said that while some people who are diagnosed with dementia will undergo drastic personality changes, for others there are subtle changes.

However, she underlined that one of the most crucial things for those who are going through the process of having a loved one diagnosed with dementia is to remember - they are still the same individual, although there were some painful realities she had to face as her mother's daughter.

"The hardest part is all of the memories that are lost and the times you share together; you don't share them anymore," she said. "They're just yours now."

M. said that since her own mother's diagnosis, she has also come to realize that there is a pervasive sense of shame for some to discuss the disease and a lack of education on the disease itself.

"I was surprised at the number of people who deal with this alone and don't seek support. It's very isolating because of the stigma.  There's shame involved, that somehow you did something wrong, and that's why you got this," she said. 

As part of Senior's Week,  Alzheimer Calgary, which serves Airdrie and the surrounding areas, has been campaigning to destigmatize the myths and stereotypes around dementia.

 "You can still have a meaningful relationship with somebody with dementia. We like to focus on the strengths that still remain in somebody rather than what they've lost."

According to Alzheimer Society Canada, while the science is still evolving on dementia, there is no definitive answer.

"While we know that neurodegenerative diseases, vascular diseases, head injuries and other risk factors can increase the chance of dementia, we still don't know what exactly causes most dementias," the Society stated on its website. "She urged that one of the best things both caregivers and those living with dementia can do is to not isolate themselves.

"I know she still knows that I'm a safe person when I'm around her, but she doesn't know necessarily that I'm her daughter," M. said. "But she is still the same person - she's still my mom."

It is estimated that nearly one million people in Canada will be living with dementia by 2030.

With files from Tommy Osborne, Strathmorenow

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